Convolution
by BeccaMuse9
Summary: 'Sex. Not making love. Pure, cooked down on a spoon, sex.' No emotions or names. That's what she wanted. That's not what she got. 2p!AmericaX1p!Belarus Human Heroin addicts. AmeBela. Loosely based on the song 'The Twist' by Metric. Rated M for sex, graphic drug use, and language. Not much smut at all.
1. The Morning After

**((A/N)): Hey so I'm back I guess? For a little bit and for this weird story that I hope you guys like it.**

**2p!America (Aldred) and 1p!Belarus (Natalya). Heroin addicts. The chapters might not seem to fit together as smoothly as my others, but I assure you that they make sense. Loosely based on the song 'The Twist' by Metric.**

**If you have any other questions, please feel free to review and ask me about them!**

**[WARNINGS]: Foul language, sex, graphic drug use.**

**Disclaimer****: I own nothing.**

* * *

Touches, moans, flurries of breath rolling across heated skin. A head swimming without knowledge of anything but the moment. Life in the moment. Feeling lips that brushed and hands that caressed. Feeling nails scrape across flesh like the comforting sting of a needle. Feeling another's physically elating touch without emotions playing a part in release.

Sex. Not making love. Pure, cooked down on a spoon, sex.

* * *

Cracked and faded. Shards missing and fallen from the wall where it hung. Black flecks speckled the reflective surface, marring it further and causing ripples across the glass. It was crooked on the peeling wall, cheap drywall showing through the funeral gray coat of paint, and hanging at an odd angle. Not such an angle where it was blatantly wrong, but one that could cause anxiety and nervousness. Because… something was off. Something was always off.

A pale, slim hand reached out through the dusty light, making the motes spin about in the blindingly hot morning sun, and a single finger tilted the mirror on the wall. For one brief moment, it was straight. But as soon as the hand was removed, it tilted once more, still moving slightly until it stilled against the wall in its original, proper place. The crooked angle might have been uncomfortable to the eye, but fit the order of things.

Violet eyes flicked up from the chipped blue paint on her fingers, finding themselves through the cracks and flecks of the glass. They looked like the eyes of someone different—bloodshot with dark circles under. They couldn't be hers. No… Hers were full of life. Her hand lifted to her hollow cheek, touching the dry skin there.

That face… It wasn't hers. Her lips were blooming pink posies, not wilting chrysanthemums this face's were. Her cheeks were thin, but always held a touch of light color, unlike this horrid gray. Her eyes were supposed to shine like amethysts behind long lashes. This dulled, faded appearance wasn't her. It couldn't be.

Natalya reached out, touching the crooked mirror and watching as the bony hand met the reflection of itself in the glass. The dulled eyes locked on their copy and her hand felt as if it was shocked away, falling back to her side quickly as her full appearance was finally realized. A holey tank top and a thin pair of shorts, both of which hung off of her in odd ways. The shirt was too baggy around the chest, stretched from her once reasonable, and now nonexistent, bosom and the bottoms barely clung to her all too visible hip bones. This was just a shadow of her former self.

That stranger in the mirror stared back—the one that looked exactly like her, but completely different.

A noise echoed throughout the empty room, distracting the woman from her own reflection and calling her gaze over to the mattress on the floor of the musky room. There a man lay, his inked back exposed to the air as the sheet slipped down to his waist, just as much a stranger as the one in the mirror. A man whose body she now knew better than her own. Her fingers had caressed that black eagle tattoo across his shoulder blade without the knowledge of how or why it was there.

Her feet made no sound as they padded across the floor and she knelt down, knees making to the mattress dip down toward her with a creak as she watched curiously as the man slept. He had a name, they both had names, but his was shrouded in mystery. In the back of her mind, she knew that once she'd known it, but that was hours ago and the information was now mostly likely lost forever.

Her hands reached forward, playing across the man's spine as if they'd never felt human flesh before. But the scratch marks they danced across and the bruising along the shoulders they found clearly indicated that she'd met his tanned skin before in a very intimate way.

The man made a muffled noise in his sleep, rolling over and looking up at her from behind mussed up brown hair and through bleary eyes. The ruddy brown irises held the same emotions as hers. Confusion, mild recognition, and… déjà vu.

They'd been in this exact position before, many times, and it always went the same way.

"Al…" he murmured under his breath, still gazing up at her in amazement.

"Natalya," she answered, the hand at his back slipped across his shoulders and up to his face.

"Russian name," Al commented as he wrapped an arm around her waist and let his fingers find their way under the hem of her shirt in the back to trace up her side.

"Russian woman." Natalya felt it best not to mention the fact that she was not quite Russian. They were both American now, despite having left their hearts back in their old countries. There were so many other things that mattered more. Like the way his fingers played along her skin. The way she remembered his lips brushed up her throat... A flash of memory found its way into her mind.

**X~X~X**

_Skin on skin. Lips on lips. Rough and needy._

"_Where are you from?" she asked, ripping his shirt from his broad shoulders as her lips followed her fingers, leaving marks along his neck when her teeth nipped at his skin._

"_Mexico," he panted as his less than skilled fingers fumbled with the bra under her shirt. "And you?"_

_Her head lifted slightly as her lips brushed up to his throat again before sucking at a spot that made him groan. "Nowhere."_

_Al's eyebrow rose at that but he shrugged. "Fair enough," he muttered, wrapping an arm around her and rolling them over on the mattress as his half bare body hovered over hers._

**X~X~X**

"And we've known each other for…?" she spoke, hoping he would finish her statement for her.

But he did not, instead pulling her closer by her waist and pressing her down so that she was lying next to him and the springs of the old mattress dug into her side as a quick spasm of pain shot through her back.

"I dunno, flaca," he murmured with a low chuckle in her ear, letting his lips brush against her skin as his fingers found their way further up the back of her shirt. "How would I know that?"

It didn't matter, did it? Her life was a blur of drugs and sex. What did it matter if there was yet another man in her life?

But that was the odd thing. As Al kissed down her neck and across to her throat lazily, her eyes fluttered closed and she felt that strange sensation flow through her. One that was oh so familiar that it nearly took her by surprise, because it _wasn't_ surprising. She remembered his touch, craving the breaths that rolled off her pale skin the same as she craved the needle.

"Al.." she murmured into his hair before he lifted his head, shooting her that lopsided grin.

His eyebrow raised, his eyes softening for the split moment it took for her to open her own, but the expression changed back to mild cockiness as soon as she stared over at him. "Ya?" he asked, as if that were a real word with a dictionary definition.

She rolled her eyes at the smirk on his face, but knew it hid the same things that her scowl did. Fear, insecurity, desperation.

"I'll give you a choice," Natalya whispered, pushing his shoulder back until he was lying flat on the bed. Her leg hooked around him and she straddled his hips as the bed springs creaked again, now feeling against her thigh exactly what the sheet had been covering.

"First choice," she purred as her fingers splayed over his warm chest, feeling his heart beat speed up under her teasing touch. "We walk over there," her eyes flicked over to where the rest of their stash was, "shoot up, and you go soft in a second." Her hips rolled back on his, letting him feel just exactly what she meant by that comment. He groaned gently, his hands moving up to grab her hips.

"Or…" She leaned back into his lap even more, pressing her weight on him and making him gasp a little as a light blush spread under his tanned skin. There was a glint in her eye that she tried to hide, a mix of desperation and a bit of hope. "… We could actually try to have decent sex?"

Al shifted under her uncomfortably while his eyes darted away from hers, gnawing on his bottom lip as his fingers played with the waist band of her shorts. But they never dipped inside. Natalya sighed heavily, the sound ending in a huff as she rolled off of him and collapsed onto mattress next to him with a wince from the metal springs as his clouded brown eyes followed her regretfully.

"I'm sorry, Nat," he muttered under his breath, the nickname coming to him easily.

But she just shook her head, shoving him off the bed, "Whatever, Alfred."

"It's Aldred…"

Natalya glared up at him, huffing and blowing the hair from her eyes before pushing it away with an unamused expression. "I don't fucking care. Just go get it."

Al did as he was told, scurrying up as he pulled his boxers on. Natalya just sighed again, closing her eyes as she felt her body cool uncomfortably from the lack of his body heat.

The sensations that came next were so familiar that they might have been a comfort had they not conjured gut wrenching images in her mind as she lay there motionless. His anxious breath and a lighter clicking. Next came a curse and then the lighter finally sparked and lit. That sickly sweet of the powder beginning to cook filled the dank room. There was a grunt and the sound of an elastic band being tied off by a hand and a pair of yellowing teeth.

Her eyes opened and her head tilted just enough so that she could watch with dull eyes as the needle entered his skin. Pull back and blood clouded the clear liquid. Hit a vein, but that wasn't surprising. Addicts… They were very good at that. A calm sereneness washed over his face as Al let his eyes drop. Breath left her quietly as she sat up, ignoring him as he fell down onto the mattress next to her, and took up their spoon herself.

Within minutes she was flat on her back with him, giggling a bit as a drug induced smile painted her face in its false color.

"Do… Do you ever think about.. people?" Al asked her, his eyes opening to just slits as his head tilted back and turned to the side as he gazed at her lazily.

Natalya stared back at him, her eyes half lidded, but still more open than his. "People…?" She giggled lightly again, letting her neck and head flop from side to side as if she were shaking her head. "Yeah.." she answered, despite her actions.

"I think about people…" she mumbled, letting her eyes slide closed.

**X~X~X**

"Vanya, I have to go.." Natalya said in a gentle voice— her features looking much younger, though it was barely a year from the present.

Her brother, who was sitting at their bare kitchen table in a simple chair, did not look up from his newspaper, ignoring his younger sister as he read through the Cyrillic letters which formed into the words he was only pretending to take an interest in.

She shifted uncomfortably as she gripped her arm to keep herself grounded. "There is nothing here for me. Everyone in the town already knows about… my condition. There is no sense in staying." Again, she was ignored pointedly with a flip of the paper.

Natalya bit the inside of her cheek, backing away slightly before her breath caught as his gravel voice finally spoke.

"What about loyalty?"

Blinking, she dropped her arm and stared down at him in confusion. "Pardon..?"

"Loyalty," Ivan stated again, looking up from his paper, and his sharp eyes found hers. "Honor. Love for your country and family. Your family, Natalya… Are those not adequate reasons?"

Natalya winced a bit, feeling that odd tingle in her palms that always accompanied the sinking feeling of dread that shot through her. "Vanya, you know that's not what this is…"

"What is it then?!" He snapped, those eyes burning.

"They can't help me here," she murmured, looking back into those eyes without fear. "There is nothing here that can help me."

His jaw hardened, but this time is was to cover up what she knew was there. Hurt. "What about us?" Ivan asked in a quieter but no softer voice. "Your family. You brother and sister. Can't we help?"

Natalya bit at her cheek again, stepping forward as she leaned down and wrapped her arms around her brother's broad shoulders. She always looked so small next to him, even when she was wrapped around him like this. "No… You know you can't."

Ivan let out a shaky breath, the paper falling from his fingers before his arms wrapped around her waist loosely and he pressed his little sister's forehead to his shoulder. "Get help, Natasha. Get help and then come back here to us."

Her eyes closed and she breathed in, feeling the stone man beginning to crack under her gentle touch. "I will, Vanya. I will… I promise."

**X~X~X**

Those eyes opened, changed by her drug of choice, and turned to find Aldred humming about to himself. "I think people will be disappointed…"

"Of what?" Aldred asked blearily, talking to the wall instead of her. "You?"

Natalya paused for a moment, blinking and trying to remember what language she was supposed to be speaking. "Da." No, that wasn't it. "Taip." No, still not right. "… Yes." There you go.

The man snorted, rolling over onto his side and pressing his face to her shoulder. "That's fuckin' stupid. Who cares what they think? People never gave a shit about me, why should I give a shit about them?" His words were so harsh, but his voice was doped up and he was still leaning into her like a tired child.

Her head rolled to the side and her lips brushed along his brow as Aldred let out a sigh. Something stirred within her chest and she reached out, pushing the hair from his face and nearly poking him in the eye due to her lack of motor control.

"Did we have sex last night?" Aldred asked in a mumble against her shoulder.

Natalya let her hand drop with exasperation before lifting it and rubbed her temple vigorously, as if she were angry at it. "Yes," she confirmed. "And I think it was good."

His head lifted and a crooked smile played along his lips. "Oh yeah? Good, huh?"

Rolling her eyes, she used that hand to push him away and prop herself up a bit. "You weren't out of your head on drugs, so yes. It was."

Aldred only made an annoyed grunting noise before pressing his face into the pillow. Her arm and elbow failed her as she fell back to the mattress. Letting her head turn to the side, she sighed silently and rolled him over to make sure he didn't suffocate.

"Stay on your side," she muttered before closing her eyes. "If you choke or OD, I'm not savin' your dumb ass."

Aldred mumbled something that might have been in Spanish, but even if she'd spoken the language it would have been Mexican slang and impossible to comprehend anyway. They just laid there, touching but only barely as they hummed through their highs together. Wordlessly, Aldred reached out and took her hand gently. She smiled with closed eyes, letting her chin tilt toward him.

"Next time…" he mumbled to her, the promise clear in his thick, distant voice. "Next time I'll… choose you."

Natalya sighed, her chin now resting against his shoulder. Of course. Next time. Again she felt as if she'd heard that a million times before. Next time he'd choose to be with her over using. Natalya over smack. But this next time would never happen, would it? It didn't matter…

"Next time," she echoed in a voice that resembled his—sleepy, drugged up.

* * *

**((A/N)): As I said, any questions or comments, I'd be glad to answer ^^**


	2. Pacman & Hawthorne

**((A/N)): I hope you guys are liking this okay? I don't know? Are you? Who knows..**

**Actual sex in the next chapter (probably).**

**[Warnings]: Vulgar language.**

**Disclaimer: I do not own Hetalia or anything written by Nathaniel Hawthorne.**

* * *

" 'The fuck are you doing?"

Aldred looked up at her from the coins balancing on his palm. "I'm gettin' enough quarters to go play that game over there," he explained, nodding over toward a few consoles.

Natalya let her eyes wander around the arcade as she sipped idly at her soda, sitting next to him at a table. Immediately she spotted the game and rolled her eyes. "What do you do in that? Shoot zombies in the face?"

His eyebrows furrowed as he looked up from his coins, some of them pesos, and followed her gaze to the console with an external shotgun attached to it before snorting. "What?! Nah… I don't like that kinda shit. Gore…" He stuck his tongue out and grabbed up the coins he'd counted out. "Imma go play this Pac-Man game. Damn, Flaca."

Natalya's nose wrinkled at the name as she watched him with a scowl, blowing bubbles in her soda as he shoved the quarters into the machine and exclaimed when they clinked into place. She huffed and rolled her eyes, letting them wander about while the 'waca waca' noises and irritated, but exhilarated curses came from his direction.

Off a little ways, were two little girls arguing in two different languages about who got to play the next game. The shorter girl snapped in Spanish while the paler one countered in English. It was interesting to watch but only held the Belorussian woman's attention for a few moments before she lazily listened to a man shouting at his daughter.

The guy had a disgusting beer gut covered by a slimy 'white' tank top and kept rubbing at the stubble around his neck and jaw. Natalya's lip curled in disgust before she looked over at the annoyed, barely legal girl with heavy eyeliner and some kind of ratty arms bands on. The man continued yelling until the girl flipped him off. He scoffed at that, grabbing her wrist and leaning down to shove his tongue down her throat.

Natalya's eyebrows flew up and the soda in her straw dropped down into the paper cup as her lips parted in shock when the teenager kissed him back with vigor that was not appropriate for an arcade. Or ever. So… Not father and daughter. At least she hoped not. And no one was fuckin' stopping them from this full blown makeout session in the goddamn arcade. Wasn't this supposed to be a kid's place?

But then again…

"Fuck you!" Aldred's voice came from the Pac-Man machine and mercifully stole her attention from her disgusting surroundings. "Fuckin' piece of shit!" He kicked the console, smacking it on the side as the high scores on the screen flickered and glitched a bit.

She sighed with a shake of her head as Aldred muttered about how it was rigged or something. The woman stood, carrying her soda with her as she walked up behind him. "Did you win the game?" she asked in a tired, accented voice.

He shot a glare at her over his shoulder after smacking the machine good and hard again. "You never win this game; you just get better each time."

"Hmm.. Like you and sex?" Natalya asked with a light smirk, leaning up against the Pac-Man game to keep him from beating on it some more.

Aldred scowled at her, his ruddy brown eyes narrowed before he cracked a smile. "Exactly," he murmured, reaching out and grabbing her waist.

Natalya flinched at the rough touch, stumbling forward into him as he dragged her closer. Though neither of them weighed very much, she was still lighter and frailer by far. He pressed her against himself, running a hand up her spine as she looked up at him with her hands at his chest to push him away if need be.

"Damn, querida.." he mumbled, his lips already nearing her ear even as her nose wrinkled unhappily. His thumbs rubbed gentle, calming circles into the skin of her hips, but wouldn't let go. He knew Natalya didn't like to be touched like this, so why was he-?

His lips connected with the skin just under her ear making her gasp silently, mostly due to shock. That, finally, made her push him away and forced that ever present scowl onto her face once more. The one that always made him snicker in such a condescending way.

"Weren't you pissed at that stupid game three seconds ago?" Natalya snarled, backing away and gripping her soda tightly as his eyes followed her movements keenly.

"Maybe…" He shrugged, that jagged and quick glint of lust disappearing from his eyes as he smirked lazily at her and ran a hand through his dark hair. "But then I saw ya and… I wasn't pissed anymore." His slight smirk softened into a gentle smile that only she was permitted to see. "You always do that t' me…"

Her grip on the soda cup loosened until the lid was no longer in danger of popping off. Aldred was such a… But then he said things like this. Things that made her remember why she was still hung around him. Why she let him crash in her shitty little apartment. Why she shared a bed with him on odd occasions which were becoming more frequent than not. Sighing, Natalya stepped forward, her eyes closing as she pressed her lips to his in a gentle kiss.

The softness of the kiss was taken away as he snickered against her lips, mumbling 'Hell yeah' before pressing his tongue into her mouth a little forcefully. Making only a weak sound of protest for half a second, she kissed him back in a way that fanned the dimming fire inside her chest. There was no protest as she felt her back being pressed against the arcade game and wandering hands stray down to grip at her hips and below.

Finally pulling away due to breathlessness, Natalya opened her eyes and let a smile flicker onto her lips. Aldred opened his eyes as well and for just a moment, a split second that cast a shadow of doubt on every harsh or demeaning word he'd ever said to her, there was something sparkling in them that was neither lust nor just mild interest. But then it was gone, hidden back away behind locked doors, and his lips pursed.

"Come on," he grumbled, pulling away from her and taking her soda before sucking down a big gulp of it. "We should get back to your place before I run out of quarters again and we're thrown out of here."

Natalya quickly caught the cup he shoved back into her hands and frowned as she followed him quickly. "We wouldn't really be thrown out, would we?"

Aldred scoffed. "What would stop them? You could try to flash your breasts at them but…" His eyes wandered down to her chest and he shook his head. "There's not much to show anyway."

Her face flushed, but she ignored it, ducking through the door he'd flung open.

**X~X~X**

Sitting cross legged on the floor, Natalya let out a quick breath of air, the sound more like a hiss than a sigh, and snapped the book in her lap shut angrily.

"What's wrong?" Aldred immediately asked in a disinterested tone, lying on his stomach on the floor with his legs kicked up in the air and not looking up from the piece of paper he seemed to be entirely too focused on. "Did the vampire in your book finally reveal himself?" His voice was dripping with sarcasm, but still she didn't hear it.

"Nyet," she huffed, frowning down at the novel as if it had personally offended her. "There is no vampire in here, at least I don't think. I haven't gotten far enough to know." Her eyes moved up to him and her eyebrows furrowed as she caught him staring at her.

Aldred looked away hastily, back down to the paper as he smudged a bit of the charcoal he was working with into the white page.

Sighing and not bothering to crane her neck in attempts at a glance of whatever he was sketching, she closed her eyes and hunched over, rubbing her temple for a moment before his voice wafted through the air once more.

"Why haven't you gotten far in the book?"

Her eyes opened and she looked up at him in deep confusion. She understood the question perfectly, that was not the issue; she just didn't understand why he was asking her.

"O-Oh…" Her gaze moved back down to the novel, the title in English and reading 'The Scarlet Letter'. "It's… quite dense, I believe. And, I've… well.." She winced. "I'm not all that good at… y'know."

Aldred scoffed, setting down his charcoal and sneering up at her. "At what? Reading?!"

The Belorussian was quick to look away, tucking her knees up to her chest and feeling the book pressed in between them. "In English!" She defended hastily, not looking up from the disgusting carpet. "I can read in Russian and Belorussian and I can speak Polish fluently. I was nearly fluent in Lithuanian, but then my friend was killed so I-I—!" After Toris had been discovered dead, his throat slit and his body tossed in the streets like garbage, she'd lost all interest in learning Lithuanian.

As he listened to her rattle away reasons, Aldred's eyes widened steadily until she finally cut herself off. Leaving his unfinished drawing where it was on the floor, he scooted closer to her, trying to draw her attention silently. But Natalya proved stubborn, as she did over and over again, and he was forced to speak.

"Nat?"

Nothing.

"Natalya…?"

A twitch, but those violet eyes did not flick up to meet his gaze. Aldred sighed, reaching out and placing a finger under her chin before tilting it up. Her lip was pouted, but her jaw was hard. And yet, Natalya did not protest, merely staring back at him.

"I-I…" Aldred's voice faltered, as did his breath, when he was sucked into that marvelous violet wonderland. He cleared his throat, pulling his hand away and averting his gaze before his face could flush. "I didn't mean t' strike a nerve."

Natalya blinked at him, not understanding yet again. That look he'd given her had been the same she'd seen in the arcade: something other than his usual sneer or disinterest. And… Was he, Aldred Jones, actually half-assed apologizing to her?

"… Oh." Her eyes didn't turn down or away like his had. "No. It's fine. Toris pissed off the wrong people," she muttered with a shrug of her shoulders, trying to pass it off, and letting her knees fall from her chest as her legs stretched out loosely.

After a moment of silence, Aldred scooped up the book that had fallen back in her lap. "Come on, show me where you are," he commanded, his voice sounding a bit strained. The book was open in his hands and he held it expectantly.

Sighing, Natalya forcefully pried the book from his hands and flipped back a few pages. "Here. It's talking about this door and something about a virgin. They must be main characters."

Aldred shook his head, muttering under his breath, "You really are at the beginning." But then he took it back from her, peering down at the words. His eyebrows furrowed just as hers had as he struggled through the dense language of Hawthorne. "You couldn't have picked an easier book to learn how to read, Nat?" he asked with a sigh.

"This was all I had," she responded, looking over his shoulder to examine the text. "I found it in the alley."

His eyes shifted from the book for a moment as he stared up at her in shock. "The alley? What were you doing in the alley?"

Natalya shrugged. "I needed to score some."

"So you went there without me? Do you know what could have happened?"

"I could have gotten some smack…? 'Cuz that's what happened."

Aldred gritted his teeth. "Any number of things. You could have been jumped. You could have been ripped off. You could have gotten some fuckin' weird shit cut with God knows what and ODed!"

"And you think I care?" Natalya asked with a roll of her eyes.

"You fuckin' should! 'Cuz I do!"

She did not speak, only glaring at him as he looked down at the novelette again. There was a tense silence along with that ever present feeling or déjà vu. They'd argued about this before, but the memories were shrouded in shadow.

"The door is not a character."

The statement broke the silence. Aldred cleared his throat after reading the paragraphs a few times over, his voice a little brusque from their tiff, "That's just where these dudes are. They're waitin' outside this prison for this bitch, and she's got a baby so I don't think she's the virgin you were talking about."

Natalya rolled her eyes, pulling the novelette from his hands and brushing off the dirt that she'd not managed to get off yet. "Not her! I was talking about…" Her lips pouted as she let her eyes wander, finding a phrase which she then pointed to triumphantly. "Here! 'The… f-founders of a.. new…" She swallowed as her eyebrows knit together. "…c-c…"

"Colony," Aldred supplied after a moment, only to earn a glare from her. "What? I was just helping!"

Natalya huffed and shook her head. "Whatever… I just… Here!" She pointed at the text for him to read instead.

Aldred sighed, but nodded, "Yeah sure… 'The founders of a new colony, whatever Utopia of human virtue and happiness they might originally project, have invariably recognized it among their earliest practical necessities to allot a portion of the virgin soil as a cemetery, and another portion as the site of a prison.'" He looked over at her, confused. "Virgin?"

"A virgin soil. That means a virgin, da?"

He gave her a small smile, only a half condescending this time, as he shook his head. "Nah," Aldred muttered as his odd twang. "Virgin means somethin's…" he trailed off for a moment, his eyes losing focus before he winced and returned to their world. "Pure." He looked over at her. "It means something that's pure."

Natalya's lips curled in confusion. "Pure? Like that crazy good smack that—?"

"No!" Aldred cut her off quickly. "Well… No. Not pure like that, but…" He licked his lips and shifted uncomfortably. "A virgin is… someone who's never had sex, yes?"

She nodded. That was agreed upon.

"But someone who _is_ virgin, not someone who is _a_ virgin, is…" He bit his lip, scratching the back of his head. "My mama used to tell me that it was a person that didn't know nothin' 'bout the real world. Someone that never had t' work with their hands. Someone who's heart's never been broken. Someone that..." His hand fell from his hair. "… Who's never been through anything."

A small laugh came from her. "Guess that's neither of us." What else could she do but smile? "We've both been through enough… More than enough. But it's good to go through some of it together though, da?" Had it not been for him, she could have overdosed months ago and had to not been for her, he would have frozen in the streets.

"Yeah…" Aldred glanced up at her quickly, his lips parted and his eyes burning as that rare look intensified. Without the dilution of lust or worry, the emotion was much easier to place. Caring, compassion, and… Natalya's eyes widened. No…

The man opened his mouth, a few unintelligible noises coming from him as he looked at her desperately. He needed to say something; he needed to say it. But after a moment of silence, he snapped his mouth shut and scrambled up from the floor before running from the apartment with a slam of the door against the wall, leaving everything behind.

Natalya's eyes followed him with an almost disappointed glaze to them and she sighed. He'd be back. Maybe in the middle of the night, maybe in a couple days, but he'd be back. He always came back.

Letting her eyes wander around her now pretty much empty apartment, she took in the place that she lived. Cold, barren, grimy, revolting. It never looked this way with Al around, but as soon as he disappeared, it came crashing down on her. How could she live like this? Why did she put up with it all? What had happened to—?

Oh. But something was different.

Her eyes fell on the sheet of paper lying so innocently on her floor, surrounded by pilfered charcoal and bits of tissue used to aid shading. The tissues were barely used by the looks of it and Natalya knew that his fingers must be near black from the drawing materiel.

She wasn't sure how much Aldred drew, having only witnessed it a few times herself, but the way he formed his lines, with a creased brow, made it look as if he was well practiced. Then again, he wasn't with her every second of the day. Who knew what he used his time for? She assumed that he hooked up with other girls like her, but had no way of knowing.

Maybe… He was someone other than who he appeared.

Natalya crawled across the floor, her eyes locked on the paper as the obscured sketch slowly became clear. Darks lines, lighter smudges, soft edges. A face bloomed from nothing; down turned with a furrowed brow and pouted lips. Eyes that were focused— though confused.

Tucking her knees under her, she gazed down at the sketch in awe. There was no doubt in her mind as to who the girl on the page was. Not with that long hair, secured with a ribbon, those large eyes with feather lashes, and that angled chin.

The charcoal lines of her face were not harsh, placed there with precision and care. This drawing was not another scrawling, tedious practice; it had been made with care.

Natalya's eyes flicked up to the door, which was slightly ajar, and she wondered if she could will him to return to her. Not in a day or so, but now. Come back… Come back now. If only he would walk through the door and tell her exactly what he'd been about to say. Because if Aldred didn't appear in the next ten seconds, she didn't think she would ever know what it had been. If he didn't, she would never know how he really felt.

He didn't.

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**((A/N)): The book she's reading is 'The Scarlet Letter' by Nathaniel Hawthorne.**


	3. The Bug

**((A/N)): Whoop! Chapter 3~**

**Info: The 'bug' they talk about in this is HIV (the AIDS virus). It can be passed through sexual intercourse and through blood (transfusions or sharing needles). A large number of heroin addicts have the virus.**

**Warnings!: Sexual activity? Yeah.**

**Disclaimer: I own nothing.**

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"We need money."

Aldred didn't move for a moment, focusing on the book in his lap; he claimed to be studying The Scarlet Letter to help her learn to read, but Natalya was sure that he just wanted to read it. Slowly his head lifted and his eyes met hers. "What?"

"We need money.." she repeated in a mutter, sitting on the floor cross legged with a straight back, while he just lounged, and perusing the few capsules and needles they had left. "And we need to go change our needles…"

"Pshh!" He scoffed at the notion, shaking his head and spreading out on the floor again as he pretended to focus on the book instead of her. "Why? You don't got the bug, do ya?"

Natalya stiffened, her voice losing any lighthearted tone it might have had. "Don't joke about that."

Snorting, he just shrugged. "Fine, flaca. Have it your way. But it wasn't a joke… If you don't got it, then why do we gotta change them out?"

Her teeth gritted. "Because they're fucking disgusting, dumbass!" Natalya shook her head, her nose wrinkling as she tossed their stash back where it was halfheartedly hidden. "And I don't share needles and fuck everyone I can find like you do! You're the one who should be worried about the bug…"

His sharp, near red eyes found her. "Shut it. I don't got it! That thing fuckin' kills… I would know if I did." Aldred ran a hand through his greasy hair, mussing it up. "And I don't fuck everything I see or share needles. I have my own… Of both." He had his own needles and his own girl.

"Whatever. You know you're just a skank when you leave here," Natalya muttered under her breath, steadfastly ignoring the 'both' comment.

He scowled and snapped, the words hitting him harder than they should have. "You're the fucking skank! If you're so worried about money or bullshit, why don't you get on the pole or sell it on the street or some shit?!`"

"Because I'm fucking white as hell! Remember?! No one's gonna pay for this."

There was another tense, deafening silence, the sound of seething minds and unspoken words filling the room and making it danker than before. Aldred's teeth were clenched and Natalya's nails dug into the skin of her forearm. Their breaths were quiet, neither one of them wanting to break the silence. But then his gravel voice and hers a spilt second later shattered it.

"I would pay for—"

"Fuck you!"

Natalya stood in a huff, crossing the small room to look out the window as if that might distract her from the annoyance of the man in her apartment. The sun was beginning to set. She didn't know how long she'd been awake, but she knew that she wouldn't be going to bed anytime soon, either with or without Aldred. There was too much not to do. Too many hours to waste. Too many ways left to disappoint.

Aldred watched her, dead silent until he sighed and shifted to stand up on his knee. He was next to her in a second, leaning against the wall with a light grunt and staring at her through half lidded eyes.

"Don't be like that, Nat."

She crossed her arms, huffing and setting her jaw.

"Hey." He reached out, irritated that she'd not responded, yanking at her arms to pull them from over her chest.

"Don't touch me!" she spat, shifting away and crossing her arms tighter as she hugged herself round the middle.

Aldred laughed with a smirk on his face, leaning in closer as his hand skated up to tuck a bit of platinum hair behind her ear. "Aww… Come on, Nat. You like it when I touch you." His lips brushed along her ear as she sucked in a sharp breath of air, feeling his warmth nearing her.

"I know you like it…" The words were half murmured and half hissed in her ear, the breath tickling her skin and pricking it with a pink blush. Her arms fell from her chest, one hand unconsciously reaching out to let her fingers curl into his shirt to keep him from backing anyway unexpectedly.

"I-I… Don't," she stuttered, her eyes unblinking as her ragged breath shifted her chest closer to him. "I don't like it..."

Aldred let out a hiss of laughter, his movements still so teasing and taunting, almost careful. His lips moved down, leaving feather light kisses just under her ear, high on her neck.

"Liar."

The accusation caused a shiver to run through her body and Aldred grinned at the stifled gasp that came along with it.

Without warning or permission, his arms were wrapped around her waist and his body pressed her against the wall. A hot tongue slipped out, licking hungrily at her soft neck as a hand tilted her head back to allow him better access.

A strangled cry came from her, but there was no protest as her hands came up behind him and gripped his shirt tightly. He snickered as he felt her pull him closer and Natalya was about to push him away with gritted teeth, but then lips and teeth joined his tongue against her neck.

"Mmm..." she hummed, ending in a quiet moan as her nails barely dug into the fabric of his shirt. His wandering hands explored a body that he already knew so well. Fingers knew just where to stroke and where to squeeze, finding their way under the hem of her shirt as his body leaned back slightly, not pressing against her as firmly.

Her lips pulled down at the corners, her body feeling uncomfortably cool without his heat. But her concern was forgotten with a gasp and a flick of his thumb over her nipple, hardening the little sensitive bud. His warm hand enveloped her breast, massaging and squeezing gently as his teeth nipped and bit at her neck with much less tenderness.

Aldred wasn't forcing himself on her; she could push him away at any time and he'd just laugh, grin, and pretend it was all a joke before storming away to sulk in a corner. This was as far as he'd go until she let him know that this was what she wanted. Natalya did this the same way every time, with a very simple action.

Her hand moved from his shoulder into his hair, her fingers weaving into it before she yanked his head back and crashed her lips into his in a fiery kiss. A kiss. Lips against lips. For other couples, the connection might have been taken for granted, but between these two it was a precious thing and each actual, at least half sober kiss was memorized and cherished as long as their brains would allow.

One kiss from her, by her, controlled by her was all it took.

Aldred's arm pulled her from the wall, their tongues now playing and teasing each other as he backed her toward the old mattress on the floor. Her skilled hands pulled his shirt up over his head and tossed it away before pulling him closer by his inked shoulders, their lips meeting roughly again as she sucked at his bottom lip.

He chuckled lowly, his head lowered to reach her, as his hands skated up her back, pushing her shirt up as he did so. The thin materiel fell to the floor with an oddly graceful flutter when she pulled away to allow it. Skin upon skin… The warmth of his chest radiated through her, making her palms tingle as they slid down once strong shoulders.

This lovely feeling only lasted moments before she was pushed down onto the low mattress, the thing creaking as she fell and bounced a bit. She hissed as nearly exposed springs dug into her back, but then his body was draped over her, one hand slipping down to support the small of her back. His warm lips pressed open mouth kisses down her jaw and neck as his thumb rubbed circles into the soft skin of her back.

Annoyance flickered across her face at his disappointingly slow pace and her nails glided along his shoulder, her hips rising to meet his. But she knew that his kisses were as much for him as they were for her. Though she would never understand his fascination with her alabaster skin, seeing as his skin was olive and rich, all she could do was close her eyes and gasp softly as his lips brushed down the swell of her small breast.

"Mmm…" Aldred hummed into her skin, pulling away slightly to gaze down at her as his fingers dipped down, barely pushing past the waist band of her shorts. "Joder…" he muttered to himself, adjusting his knees against the mattress to move the hand supporting him up to cup her other breast in amazement. There was something about her skin and her body that made his heart pound and hammer against his ribcage.

As his lips and hand moved softly in sync, there was a moment, just a split second, in which Aldred wished that he could do everything he dreamed about to her. His fingers would be gentle and his lips would be oh so soft as they kissed and praised every inch of her, from her track marks to the scars he'd never asked about that littered her thighs. If he couldn't express himself through words, he wanted to through actions. He wanted to make her feel as if she were floating. He wanted her to know that she was his pale princess.

If only she would let him, he would touch her like she'd never been touched before—with care and respect.

This silent dream was shattered as she growled lowly and her irritated fingers reached in between them, tugging at the button to his pants. Aldred inhaled sharply as her fingers nimbly popped the button and yanked his restricting jeans down to his thighs. His boxers sprang free, tenting, and he sighed in momentary relief. Those fingers stilled after that, resting at his hips as Natalya glared up at him and Aldred's face flushed slightly with shame.

He's been still for too long. He'd done nothing but kiss and fondle her breasts gently. That was unacceptable.

No kind of apology or acknowledgement came from him. He didn't look up, his pride not letting him. But he did lift away from her chest, dragging her loose shorts down her hips and moving out of the way to sling them across the room.

"Hmm…" he hummed with a low chuckle, his warm hand cupping her thigh as the other one ran up her side. "Guera.." Aldred whispered into her skin, kissing down her chest and around her stomach.

Her eyebrows furrowed and she squirmed impatiently yet again. "Stop this!" Natalya commanded with a groan, annoyed and confused by all this nonsense. "What are you doing…?"

Sharp, ruddy eyes found her, narrowed. "Trying to…" Different words were on the tip of his tongue, but he ignored them, deeming them weak. "Nothing."

Her lips were pursed as she scowled at his touch and she finally snapped. Natalya hooked her ankle around his leg, flipping herself over quickly and pinning him by his shoulders as her hips moved to straddle his. Pushing down against him hard, she dug her nails into one of his shoulders and her teeth gritted as her words were forced out harshly.

"Are you done wasting my fucking time…?!"

Piercing eyes found him as the air was knocked from his lungs, making him cough and splutter for a moment until his own gaze hardened. The tenderness he'd held moments before was gone, replaced by complete understanding. This is all they were and all they'd ever be. He was a bum drug addict from Mexico. What would she want from him except drugs and sex?

Aldred's lips curled into a bastard's smirk. "Your fuckin' time is worthless, how could I ever waste it?"

But her actions had done just what she'd wanted. There was no time wasted after that. Pants were flung away. She was flipped over on her back with a growl. Wet panties were dragged down her thighs. Hips moved together, meeting with raw heat.

Once again it was what they both claimed to want. Sex. Pure, cooked down on a spoon, sex. But this time, instead of leaving them both sated and sweaty, it left them hollow and burned out.

Purity got to you eventually. It burned you out.

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**((A/N)): You guy's are great~ I've started work on Chapter 4 already.**


	4. Crave

**((A/N)): Wow, I am so very very sorry that this took so long. College is a real bitch turns out. And this chapter is short, I know, and I'm sorry about that too. But it's here and I'm already working on the other one. So if I still have any fans out there: it's coming.**

**[Warnings]: Swearing, drug use, prostitution?, and horrible writing.**

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The day was dark and brisk, the wind whipping around her and the chill cutting straight through her thin clothes. But that was not the reason she clutched to her threadbare jacket and shivered, her lips turning blue.

Natalya stumbled through an alley, coughing and shaking uncontrollably. They had neither changed their needles nor gotten money. In fact, she'd not seen Aldred for days, maybe a week, and his disappearance was mildly disturbing. Anything could have happened to him. But what was worse was that she had burned through the last of their supply and was now in the beginnings of detox.

To say the least, it was unwelcome.

Her foot slipped in a puddle of what smelled like a mixture of sewage water and week old piss and Natalya had to catch herself on the rough side of a building. The air in her lungs bubbled out uncomfortably, causing her to double over with pain and spastic coughs. She leaned against the wall, her head slamming against it when she lifted it.

Stars danced in her vision as she felt the gut craving and need washing through her again. She couldn't do this. She needed a hit. Now. There was no other option.

The decision and physical need were the only two things that drove her to push away from wall. Eyes fixed firmly on the end of the alley, she sniffed and wiped her nose and the stretched out hem of her shirt, ignoring the blood smeared across her face and now the cloth.

Another hit. The craving. The need. The uncontrollable desire. Just make it to the next hit.

The shakes raked through her thin frame, but the Belorussian trudged on through the alleys with her arms wrapped around her middle to protect her from everything and nothing. Past homeless people dying for a taste of water or whiskey. Past crack addicts and lost potheads who looked a long way from home.

As she was rounding a corner, a man grabbed at her ankle wildly, causing her heart to pound and a terrified half shriek to escape her lips.

"Come on, baby," the man leered, his green teeth shown off in the dull light. "How much for a spin on you?"

Natalya kicked out at him, her balance lost as she fell back toward the opposite wall. "Nyet! Get off of me!"

The homeless man's expression changed from dirty lust to twisted fury. "Soviet! Reds! The Reds are coming! Commies! Bury them, bury them!"

Adrenaline was coursing through her veins as she spat and cursed in frightened Russian, hoping that it might deter the schizophrenic. Finding just enough energy, even as her heart palpitated in protest, Natalya managed to shake him off and tear down the alley with slowly clouding vision. Get away. Run away. Escape. Don't look ba—

Her face and hands connected harshly with the wall, knocking her to the ground as she let out a pained shriek. Natalya's breath was labored and she stared up, unseeing and unwilling to move. As sharp pains stitched into her sides from the constant coughing and the fall, she groaned and turned her gaze toward the sky. It was an entirely different view than when your shoulders were hunched and you avoided eye contact with anything but the vermin of the streets. Blue… Sky blue.

It filled her with a different kind of joy than the synthetic high of heroin. But the moment was fleeting and disappeared as soon as the drug popped into her head, filling it and bounced around the inside of her skull as she groaned in pain. A fix. A hit. Just one… Or two. Anything.

Her back arched up from the frigid ground as she gasped for breath again and forced her palms down flat, pushing herself off the ground. Natalya stood with a struggle, feeling that if she tried to speak, it would be with an infuriating st-stutter. There was even a stutter in her thoughts. Fantastic.

Through the sarcasm that had been explained and taught to her by Aldred, Natalya winced and leaned heavily against the rough wall, but still her feet trudged on. One in front of the other. She was almost there. She could smell it. It was so close.

"_You went there without me? Do you know what could have happened?!"_

Aldred's voice rang through her head as her side scraped along the wall, but she still walked on.

"_You coulda' been jumped. You coulda' been ripped off. You coulda' gotten some fuckin' weird shit cut with God knows what and OD'ed!"_

Then there was that question… The question she'd asked, when she'd been thinking completely different ones all together. 'And you think I care?' What she'd really meant, and what they asked themselves silently in their head, was, 'Why do you care? How do you care? Do you really care?'

"_You fuckin' should care! 'Cuz I do!"_

He cared… Someone cared about her… Someone would care if she got her ass killed or worse. That simple realization, even in her addled state, was enough to make her step falter. Oh. And it wasn't just someone, it was Aldred. Aldred, the man she'd slept next to, in his arms. The man she trusted enough to shoot up with. The man…

The man who'd been gone for days. The man who'd abandoned her. The man who'd claimed to care for her and then had disappeared without so much as a word.

Natalya's teeth gritted and she bit her tongue as her eyes narrowed with determination. Her fiery hate for him ignited the bit of reserve energy she had left and she pushed away from the wall, staggering from the alley and spilling out into the sunshine.

Light blinded the user and a silent scream ripped from her throat. She'd finally reached the light at the end of the alley and now there was to be the promised paradise. The garden of Paradise in which scantily clad women danced among fountains overflowing with opioid.

Now it was time for her to get down on her knees and beg. Get down on her knees and… do much more than beg. And that's exactly what she did. For days. Shooting up in alleys and stumbling back to the condemned building so called home. Who was there to stop her? No one. Not Aldred. She was alone again.

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**((A/N)): Thank you guys, really.. And sorry, but I'm trying to write more. I swear.**


	5. Jail or what?

**((A/N)): Hey you guys! So I have a 8 page report due on Monday, so I decided to work on this instead of course!**

**Just for clarification, Aldred disappeared for about three days before Natalya went out to find drugs in the last chapter. This chapter is about a week after that.**

**Warnings!: Language, drug use, sex!**

**[Disclaimer]: I don't own the song or the characters.**

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The chipped and gravel strewn concrete dug into her knees, leaving marks and scrapes through the holes in the knees of her worn jeans. Foul smells invaded her nostrils and stung her shut eyes as a low voice moaned. Her fingers gripped jeans that weren't hers to keep herself kneeling as she struggled to keep her throat relaxed and her teeth out of the way as she swallowed, sucked, and licked around the hard member in her mouth.

As the stranger's hips bucked in her mouth, Natalya's nose wrinkled and her throat spasmed as she choked around the erection. There was an unhappy grunt from the man who had what she wanted and his hands tugged at her long hair to keep her from pulling away. Her eyes squeezed shut tighter and Natalya swallowed back another cough, eliciting a quiet moan from the stranger.

Her head bobbed up and down, back and forth, as the man leaned back against the wall and her senses were filled with him. Filth, sleaze, cheapness. This is what she'd become. A girl who's only purpose was to get down on her knees for drugs, inject them into her veins, and then repeat.

But then the cycle was broken in a second.

There was a sharp pain in her shoulder and Natalya was yanked back, hitting the ground and leaving the man she'd been servicing exposed to the alley. Landing back on the heels of her palms, she grimaced in pain and her eyes shot open for the first time in minutes to glare up angrily at the person who'd shoved her. Those jaded eyes widened with recognition as she shifted her weak balance and wiped the disgusting corner of her mouth.

"A-Aldred…?"

"Hola, flaca." The man grunted, not looking down at her, his fist cocked as he landed a blow to the jaw of the drug dealer Natalya's lips had just been on. Aldred let out a breath, his complexion paler than the olive it usually was with dark circles under his eyes, and watched as the man hit his head against the wall and crumpled to the ground.

Natalya let out a shout of shock, her eyes wide as her legs splayed out in an odd way, her knees still under her. Sharp eyes found her and Aldred's jaw tightened as he looked up and down her disheveled appearance. From her matted hair to the wet, fresh stains of filth on her knees, then back up to the bruising of her lips.

He didn't speak, just as she expected, instead stepping back from the unconscious drug dealer and his whore. And so it was her voice that broke the perpetual noise of the dying city they claimed residence in.

"Where've you been...?" Natalya asked in a low voice, testing him as she scooted back to sit up and stagger to her feet.

Aldred looked away from her, his cheekbones nearly as sharp as hers, but reached out an arm and tugged her up to her feet. "Occupied."

The spike of relief and joy that she'd felt from first seeing him had a jagged fade before it was gone altogether, replaced by that same dull hatred and craving. "Occupied? What the fuck, Al?!" She shoved his arm away, stumbling over to use the wall's support instead of his.

The man made no indication that he'd noticed her harsh tone or her action, merely retracting the hand that had been helping her and shoving it in his pocket. "I've been busy, but Nat, we gotta get outta here before the—"

"Too busy to come see...?!" Even though she'd interrupted him , her voice trailed off before it could break or reveal what she'd wanted. She'd wanted to see him, no matter what the context.

Aldred's near red eyes flicked up to meet hers and his mouth pursed into a straight line before his frustration started to get the better of him. "I've been locked up! I-I couldn't exactly come see you." That stutter made him swallow and look away again.

Natalya straightened up against the wall, not slouching as much as her eyes narrowed. "Locked up..? Did... Did you get your dumb ass thrown in jail?!"

An annoyed breath escaped through his nose and his teeth gritted. "No... No, I-I.. We have t' get outta—"

"You did, didn't you?!" Her voice was raised as her eyes burned with hate directed only toward him. "You got fucking thrown in-"

"No, I didn't...!"

"Then where've you been, huh?! Fucking lockup?! You stupid mother fuck-"

"No!" Aldred's voice changed as he finally looked up at her, stepping forward and pressing in on her with the intimidation his height advantage gave him. "I didn't!" His arm flew up and cut Natalya short with a cry as he pinned her to the wall.

Her eyes widened with shock. Her windpipe was closed off and she felt the pale skin of her neck flushing with a forming bruise. Natalya whined, a manner that she would have deemed pathetic, as her fingernails clawed at his forearm. "A-Al.." she choked out, her eyes filling with involuntary tears.

"No!" He shouted in her face with gritted teeth. "You Never. Fucking. Listen!" With every word, he slammed back on her throat again until the small woman was holding back sobs. Her bruised throat struggled for air that would not come and her hands balled into fists against that restraining arm.

"Just for once!" Aldred snapped as his arm pressed harder and Natalya gagged as her bloodshot eyes screamed for mercy. "For once! I wish you'd fucking listen instead of spitting in my face!"

"A-Al.." Natalya begged, her voice weak as her eyes fluttered shut for a moment and a tear streaked down her cheek.

And then, all of a sudden, the weight pressing her against the wall and keeping her from the breath of life, pulled away. Natalya fell from the wall, her hand at her bruised throat as she doubled over and gasped for desperately needed air. Shakes raked through her body. It wasn't like those opium ones anymore. These were different. More emotional…

Natalya never showed emotion. Never. What had happened?

"Y-Y-You.." she stuttered through choked breath and sniffs as she wiped at her cheeks.

"I didn't.. _No_." But he had. He'd done that. He'd brought frightened tears to the eyes of the strongest woman he'd ever known, that's what Aldred had done. "No.. No, I c-couldn't.. I-I.." he muttered under his breath, backing away.

Natalya coughed violently again, one hand going behind her to help support her against the wall as the other clutched at her head. A pounding from the lack of oxygen was spreading through it quickly, but it was nothing compared to what she would be going through again if she didn't get some more smack. It was not nearly as bad as it had been that day when she'd stumbled through the alley, but the craving was still setting in.

"_Da_." She said forcefully, sliding down the wall a bit and casting her gaze over to the drug dealer who was stirring. "You did, Aldred. And you fucked up my deal. I-I… I'll have to find someone else who… likes Slavic sluts." Her eyes found him in a moment, still a bit clouded from what he'd done to her, and she began to straighten up. "Unless… You have some, Al…?" Maybe she wouldn't have to whore around anymore… Not if Aldred was here.

His eyes widened slightly in shock as he took a step back, those near red orbs flicking over to the man who was almost conscious again. "I-I.. No, Nat. I don't.."

Natalya's face fell into a scowl as she began to back away, her foot nudging the drug dealer who was bound to want both of their heads on sticks. "You… Don't have any..?"

"No-!" Aldred cut himself off, gnawing on his lip and looking more nervous than she'd ever seen him. His hand reached out unconsciously to stop her, grabbing ahold of the sleeve of her coat. "Y-Yes! I do!"

There was a flash of something in his eyes. Doubt. But Natalya ignored it. Of course he had some smack; he was a heavier user than she'd ever been. So even if he knocked her around again, she knew all his hiding places and could steal his stash and be in an uncharted alley before he knew which way up.

Aldred tugged on her sleeve again and the decision was made for her as she heard the telltale groan of a man waking up in pain that would quickly be replaced by blind rage. Allowing herself to be tugged through the streets by her fuck buddy, partner in crime, and most recent abuser, Natalya stumbled along in a blur. It could have been seconds, but was more likely close to an hour before the odd, but seemly well fitted pair finally stopped walking.

Exhaling in exhaustion due to malnutrition, Natalya fell back onto a stray couch that had been dragged into the abandoned building. Well it had been abandoned by all respectable society. Apparently that meant that now it was Aldred's. Her eyes slid closed for a moment as she let out another shaky breath—her chest falling as her ribs and hipbones poked out under stretched ivory skin. Those eyes fluttered open after a moment, just in time for her eyebrows to furrow.

Aldred was moving about the room, the lighting from odd slates in the ceiling giving him an eerie look for a moment before he turned. Then his face filled cautious warmth. Though he was thinner than she'd ever seen, for some reason he looked healthier than ever.

Natalya prompted herself up on her elbow, pushing the long hair from her eyes as her lips pouted. "Al…?"

"Hm?" The man asked, looking away quickly and around the place that he seemed to have nestled in. Odd. She'd thought that he didn't have a place to crash, using her or his other 'friends' for shelter. But maybe this place was new.

"… What are you doing…?"

Aldred's Adam's apple bobbed as he swallowed uncomfortably. "Err…" His hands fumbled with the hem of his sleeve.

Things were too weird. This was not the Aldred that she knew. Aldred was supposed to be an asshole, not this nervous jittery thing. He used women and enjoyed smacking her around in bed. He didn't fiddle or avoid the issue like this.

"Aldred…" she drawled, her voice testy and drawing his sharp gaze again.

"I wasn't in jail." It was a statement, said with an even tone.

"Oh…?" Natalya's strength faltered and her elbow slipped as she fell back against the couch. "Then where were you 'locked up'?"

Silence.

"Aldred," she scoffed, glaring over at him as his gaze fell down to his scuffed shoes.

More silence.

Oh. Oh, no.

"Aldred…?"

The man bit his bottom lip. "It's…"

"No…" she whispered in a hoarse voice, sitting up as her eyes widened. "Aldred, tell me… No."

He swallowed again. "Sorry, Nat. I'm so sorry…"

No. Fucking no.

"You should go see them too."

Fuck.

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**((A/N)): So just like always, I hope you guys liked it!**


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